SEGUE TO A LIFE

From the R.M. Dolin novel, “AN UNSUSTAINABLE LIFE – The Book of Issac”

Chapter 6: Segue To a Life

For the past month Issac’s been discovering the hard part of having a job is not having to be on your feet for hours at a time. It’s not having to keep a schedule that determines when you eat, when you sleep, when you get a moment to breathe. It’s not being responsible to people who depend on your presence at work but also on you being present while you work. The hard part of having a job is working a social life around your all-consuming work life and the difficulty of remembering your work life is not your life; at least it shouldn’t be. Since his breakup, Issac’s tried moving on but that’s also hard; not the emotional part, he got past that pretty quick by extracting himself from Gabriella’s social circle. Like a frog in a pot of warming water, from inside his toxic relationship, Issac couldn’t see how unbearable she really was but once he had the clarity of hindsight, it became acutely clear that everything that happened at Murphy’s that night, happened for the best.

The hard part of moving on from a failed relationship is moving. It’s always been easy for Issac to meet people, which is why he’s a bartending natural but he’s only now realizing that the biggest barrier to meeting single ladies when you have a job is the ability to be where single ladies are, and where they are, is not at Murphy’s Northshore Bar and even if Murphy’s was a single ladies hot spot, Murphy has a strict policy about bartenders hooking up with patrons. Before becoming part of the Windy City workforce, Issac could go to the gym at night where he’d always find ladies to flirt with. Now his gym schedule’s shifted to mid-mornings and the only ladies there then are married moms who dumped their kids at daycare, wives either on the prowl or getting in shape to keep their husband’s interested, and women who once were married and are desperately hoping to be that way again even if it means finding some strange a man who doesn’t mind raising another man’s kids. Given the mistake his mom made when she went down that rabbit hole, Issac’s not remotely interested in pursuing any such options.

According to Windy City Singles, the definitive guide to hookup hot spots, the best places to meet singles in Chicago are trendy after-work bars, downtown night clubs, choreographed activities like Argentine Tango or ethnic cooking, and adventure activities like mountain biking, kayaking, running, or cycling. The unfortunate challenge Issac’s yet to overcome is that all those places, events, and activities are geared for singles who work during the day and play at night and his work schedule pivots in an opposite vector.

It’s only by chance that Issac meets Sara, a newly hired Chef de Partie at Four Seasons Chicago. As a recent graduate of the Culinary Institute of America in San Antonio, Sara’s still acclimating to Windy City life and struggles with mid-western culture, which is why she risks asking Issac on the L-platform one afternoon if he’d say it’s safe to ride the L to Midway for a flight back home to visit her parents for their thirtieth anniversary if the flight leaves early morning? She assumes that since Issac’s dressed in a hospitality uniform and because he’s one of the few people on the platform, he’s probably a front of the house worker at some hotel or restaurant in the Northshore area.

From that earnest survival question, one thing leads to another and before long Issac’s offering to take Sara to the Field House to see Sue, the world’s largest and most complete T-rex. He points out the advantages of weekday morning attendance where they only have to contend with elderly tourists and kids on field trips. That was three weeks ago, and since then, Sara and Issac have increasingly spent time together when their schedules allow. Working in a neighborhood dive bar catering to Cubs fans, Issac’s hours are typically three in the afternoon till sometime after midnight and usually on weekends. Sara, as one of many Four Seasons chef’s, has a rotating schedule and she’s currently on the weekday lunch and evening prep schedule. This leaves little schedule overlap but so far, they are making it work.

Four Seasons Chicago is an upscale Northshore venue catering to a highly focused demographic vastly different from the demographic at Murphy’s. The Four Seasons attracts wealthy sophisticated international travelers looking for a pampered on-site experience that in no meaningful way represents the real essence of the Windy City. Hotel staff do, however, go to great lengths to create the essence of a catered Chicago experience for their guests. On the flip side, Murphy’s Northshore Bar caters almost exclusively to blue-collar locals who define the true essence of the Windy City. At least that was Murphy’s targeted demographic; lately a new vibe’s been infiltrating the zeitgeist of his bar as word of Murphy’s Crabby Patties has stirred a culinary buzz.

Sara refuses to believe Issac’s version of how the Murphy’s Crabby Patty came to be and his role in promoting its success, which is why he’s invited her to the bar tonight so Patrick, the official Crabby Patty creator, can verify straight up the true story of how this Windy City phenomena came into being. Issac spent last night preparing Sara for the Murphy’s experience so she wouldn’t be shocked or overwhelmed. He stressed that coming out of the Four Seasons’ world and walking into Murphy’s world is like being transported to another universe. She dismissively laughs, reassures Issac that Murphy’s can’t be rougher or rawer than the West Texas bars she grew up in while helping her dad with his restaurant supply business.

Issac wanted her to come before the Cub’s Twilight double header got started but because her shift doesn’t end until six and tonight’s the last chance before she flies home for her parent’s anniversary celebration, they agree to meet at eight, which by Issac’s estimate, is somewhere around the bottom of the second game’s fourth inning. He tries not to let on so as not to frighten her, but he’s worried about introducing Sara to Murphy’s faithful. It’s not that they’re mean or anything other than respectful, its that they take a little getting used to.

The other thing he struggles to reconcile is his bourgeoning belief that bringing Sara to Murphy’s to meet the faithful is oddly like bringing a prom date home to meet the parents; not that he ever did that, but this bizarre feeling is how he imagines the prom night thing would go down. He’s just as worried about how Sara will react to meeting the faithful as he is about how the faithful will react to meeting her, and the most bizarre part of his eerie trepidation is an unrequited need to earn the faithful’s approval. He’s never given a shit about seeking anyone’s approval before so this entire Sara at Murphy’s night has got Issac in a very weird emotional state and he’s at loss about how to process it.

On some level, having Sara come to Murphy’s is what he imagines it would be like if Sara invited him to West Texas to meet her parents; a lot of pressure and a whole lot of anxiety, both of which are emotions Issac’s not used to in relationships and the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes it has more to do with his relationship with the Murphy faithful than it does with his relationship with Sara, which makes no sense whatsoever, so that just causes more circular anxiety, which is part and parcel the crap Issac’s dealing with as he works on preparing tonight’s condiments. That’s when Murphy walks by mistaking Issac’s anxiety for sadness and he’s compelled to stop even though he’s up to his elbows getting ready for the doubleheader. In a very short time, Murphy’s grown fond of Issac and given the quiet way he’s been carrying on all afternoon, Murphy’s needs to find out what up.

“You okay lad?” Murphy asks as he gives Patrick a ‘what’s going on’ look.

“Yeah,” Issac mumbles, “nothing but unicorns and sunshine here.”

“Well, ya seem a little off is all, so I was just checking.”

Issac forces a nervous smile, “It’s all good.”

“Since we’re having this whole employee evaluation moment, I need to ask if you’re seeing anyone?”

Issac’s come to expect the unexpected when interacting with Murphy, but this one takes him by surprise, “Need to or want to? Either way, I’m pretty certain you’re not allowed to ask me that.”

“I’m just concerned is all lad.” Murphy gives Issac a chance to respond but he dosen’t, “so, are you?”

Issac studies Murphy for a tell. “Why you asking?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Patrick interjects, “Just tell him already.”

Issac rocks back in his chair grinning, “You wagered on me again, didn’t you?”

“Well not me lad,” Murphy deflects.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake Murphy, just tell the poor bastard.”

Issac shakes his head, “Yeah boss, mea culpas are good for the soul.”

Murphy glares at Patrick, “Ain’t you got potatoes to peel?”

“No man,” Patrick laughs, “ain’t a snowball’s chance in hell I’m gonna miss watching you worm your way out of this.”

“Am I gonna need to call my union rep?” Issac teases.

“Don’t you go getting started with that sort of shit lad.” Murphy sternly warns before addressing his cook, “And you-“

“He was gonna find out tonight anyway,” Patrick preempts, “way better to bring him up to speed in the back of the house instead of out there.”

Issac decides not to let Patrick off the hook. “Et tu Brutus?”

“Don’t drag me into Murphy’s drama.” Patrick shouts over to the dishwasher station, “Santi, tell him I wasn’t any part of this.”

Santi wipes his hands in his partially white apron and grins at the trio of misfit Anglos, “Si señor, remind first, you have the over or the under?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Patrick shouts. “I am definitely calling immigration this time.”

“Now just hold on all you lads,” Murphy referees, “this here’s getting way out of control.”

“Sure boss,” Issac says, “but just so we get the verbiage right for the HR paperwork, why don’t you tell us in your own words what happened.”

“That I will lad! Now mind ya, this was a month ago, it all started the night you and that Gold Coast girl broke up. You remember that, right?”

“Pretty hard not to.” Before all this started, Issac was nervous about telling Murphy about Sara, but now, problem solved.

“Well remember how I was being nice and all like the good boss and gave you the rest of the night off.”

As far as Issac’s concerned, this repartee is the exact therapy his anxiety needs. “You are if nothing else boss, benevolent.”

“That I am, and don’t the lot of ya be forgetting that.”

“But. . .” Issac teases.

Murphy looks at Patrick, “You gonna help me out here?”

“Wish I could man, but we got a strict policy in the back of the house about getting in entangled in HR matters.”

“Ha ha.” Murphy grouses. “You as well as anybody lad, knows how the faithful can get going, well, as soon as you leave the night that Gold Coast girl dumps your ass, they get to talking about how bad they feel, both for betting against ya and for you now being all alone while going through hard times. One thing leads to another, like it always does, and before ya know it, they got a proper wager going about how long it’ll take you to find a replacement.”

“Replacement?” Issac clamors. “I don’t know if HR or my union rep’s gonna find that more offensive.”

“That’s what I said,” Patrick chimes in.

Issac looks at Patrick unable to keep from grinning. “We’ll circle back to you later, Brutus, but before we do, ya never answered Santi question about the over/under?”

“The faithful learned their lesson last time,” Patrick states. “No fixed date, this wager floats the over/under based on how the pool betting goes.”

“Ya freaking got a pool and an over/under?”

“Well,” Murphy says striking an apologetic tone. “It started out as a pool, you know, players paying for particular dates, that sorta morphed into the over/under.”

As a wager building pro, Issac already sees flaws. “How ya gonna know I found a replacement? A first date seems sketchy, and ya can’t base it on my having sex, cause there ain’t a snowball’s chance in hell you’re finding that information out. The only way your wager works, is me announcing I’m with someone and that only works if I don’t know there’s a wager, but now I do.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Patrick groans, “The kids right. Now that he knows, he can totally control the outcome.”

“You’re right,” Murphy regrettably concedes, “We’re gonna have to call off the wager.”

“Unless,” Issac offers, “I can definitively validate the day I intended to announce my pending replacement before I knew about the wager.”

“I’m listen lad.”

“I met a girl,” Issac begins as the boy’s huddle around the table to hear his tale. “Isn’t that how all good love stories begin?”

Murphy’s already bought in. “Yeah, yeah, lad, go on.”

“He name’s Sara-“

“H or no H?” Patrick interjects

“What the hell difference does that make?”

“Well, you being a good Polish Catholic and all,” Patrick argues, “combined with the fact that Sarah, with an H, is Jewish, and Sara without the H, is Muslim, it becomes a pretty important topic in your tale don’t ya think?”

“I don’t know how Sara spells her name, so let’s assume it don’t matter and move on.”

“Fair enough,” Patrick concedes, “but we will be circling back to this, on that you can be sure.”

Issac chooses to further his story rather than engage Patrick. “Sara’s a chef at the Four Seasons, says everyone’s talking about Murphy’s Crabby Patties. She doesn’t believe my version of how the sandwich came about and wants to hear it straight from the chef who created the masterpiece.”

“As it should be.” Patrick declares.

“That’s all fine and good lad, but get to the part where we validate the wager date?”

“She’s coming tonight to meet Murphy’s Chef de Cuisine. I can show you our arrangements on the phone as validation.

Murphy reviews the phone evidence. “I’ll be damned,” he grins like a pirate who’s rediscovered his lost booty, “the wager’s back on.” With that decision by the official decider, Murphy continues to his office yelling as he goes. “Smoke breaks over Patrick, time to peel more potatoes, big night coming with big events in store.”

Patrick chuckles. “Ya saved his sorry ass for sure, he’s beholding to you now, and that’s a fine place to be.” He considers the whole Sara thing further, “So you’re dating a chef from Four Seasons, that’s what I admire about you trust-funders, ya got a swim lane and ya stick to it.”

Santi chimes in. “Straight up homes, dating a Four Seasons chef; that kind of shit is downtown sic.”

“It’s not like we met because I hang out there, we met on the L-platform when she wanted to know if it was safe to take the L to Midway early morning.”

“I live on the south side homes, and I don’t take the L to Midway.”

“Oh shit, I told it’d be okay.”

“You have her talk to me when she gets here homes, I’ll straighten her shit out. But before we do that,” Santi turns to Patrick, “I want to know how the hell you know this H/no-H shit.”

Patrick laughs, “That’s easy man, I dated a Sarah with an H at culinary school. That chick wasn’t just Jewish, she was crazy-ass Kosher, so God-damn many food rules we couldn’t cook anything tasty.”

“Wait a minute,” Issac interrupts, “You went to culinary school?”

“That surprises you,” Patrick indignantly asks. “You think just because I work in this dive, I’m not a real chef. It may surprise you Chicky, but I only work here because Murphy lets me use his kitchen for my Pirate gig as long as I cook on game day.”

“Pirate gig? Whatta ya cater kid’s birthday parties.”

“Tell him Santi.”

“The dude’s sic man. He does these private events where people pay like a thousand-dollars a plate. We did a poker gig last week for some Chinese dude out by O’Hare; a thousand a plate and I even got a thousand-dollar tip.”

“Give me five minutes alone with your honey,” Patrick teases, “and I’ll cut you in on my next unlicensed dinner.”

“I definitely want in but I ain’t leaving your sorry ass alone with Sara.”

“So, you’re saying I can’t take a run at her?”

Issac laughs, “As long as your wife don’t mind I don’t either.”

“That’s a bet I’d get behind, homes. I say we let Señor Crabby Patty take a run at her just to see if he can pull it off.”

“Has she cooked for you yet?” Patrick redirects.

“No, why?”

“When a chef cooks for you, that’s their way of saying they’re into ya.”

“Shit homes, you’re always wanting to make me street tacos.”

Patrick grins at his pirate sous chef but before he can respond Issac answers. “She ain’t cooked for me yet, but that’s on account of her staying at the hotel until she finds a place. She gave me a slice of some fancy soufflé she made once, does that count.”

Patrick looks at Murphy who’s just returned, “We’re gonna need a ruling on this?”

“You’re the chef,” Murphy differs.

After a pregnant pause, Patrick renders his verdict. “She’s into you dude!” Santi gives Patrick a celebratory high-five.

“What are you two so happy about,” Issac demands to know.

“We both had the under and you just confirmed the under won. I took the under cause you don’t strike me as the type that take’s well to being alone. Tell us why you took the under, Santi.”

Santi smiles, “Issac here’s my boy, has the heart and passion of a Latin lover. Besides, no way a rich boy like him lasts long on the market, women go Latin lovers like they go for money.”

“Aren’t you married?” Issac asks.

“Si Señor, that just makes the ladies to chase me even more, they most desire what they can’t have.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Patrick moans.

Before Santi can counter, Murphy weighs in. “If you’re using wages to wager, Santi, I’m paying you too much.”

“Oh no, el jefe, I use tip money, but I am not so good at wagers as Issac so perhaps we can talk about a raise?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll pencil you in. How’s next June work for you?”

“Isn’t that when I get my usual raise?”

“Nothing gets past you,” Patrick laughs. “That’s why I’ve recommended you for the head dishwasher position, doesn’t come with a raise though.”

“I am already the only dishwasher.”

“Like I said, nothing gets past you.”

“Wait a minute,” Issac interrupts. “I already validated today is the day I planned to introduce Sara.”

“Yeah, but she cooked for you.”

“So?”

“Today’s the bubble day of the wager, it’s neither over nor under, so the house would wins, ain’t that right Murphy?”

“I’m happy to report that this is true.”

“But if she cooked for you before today, it means the under wins, am I right Murphy?”

“Sadly, also true.”

“That means me and Santi win, so sweet little Chef Sara, will be getting her own Crabby Patty personally made by the creator.”

“All Murphy’s Crabby Patties are personally made by the creator.” Issac mocks.

“Yeah, but don’t tell her that part.”

As word of Sara’s soufflé spreads, the faithful agree to accept that Issac has a girlfriend, they still need to see her though, to validate she actually exists. By and large though, everyone’s happy for Issac because they were starting to get a little worried. While the bar is packed on account of the twilight double header, there seems to also be an entire cavalcade of non-faithful who are here to eat rather than support the home team and Murphy doesn’t know what to make of it. Frankly, it worries him; for one thing, while there is profit in food, the real cash cow is pints, food crowds are not generally comprised of pint people.

Just before the first pitch of the first inning of the second game in tonight’s twilight double header Issac manages a moment to call Sara. He needs to validate she’s still coming, to ask how she spells her name, and to tell her she needs to message him when she arrives so he can meet her in the parking lot; he emphasizes the importance of waiting for him in the parking lot. Issac estimates she’ll arrive somewhere around the bottom half of the fifth but she messages him just as the Padres make their last out to end the top of the fifth, which means Murphy has to manage the mid-inning rush of impatient faithful needing refills, so Issac doesn’t run the risk of her coming in uninformed.

Murphy grouses about having to handle the rush on his own but Issac knows he doesn’t really mind because it was his idea to meet her outside in the first place; he said Issac had to tell her about the bet before she came inside or else things could really blow up on him. As soon as Murphy says that Issac imagines in perfect animation what Gabriella’s reaction would be and that makes him even more nervous about what Murphy refers to as his upcoming, dance with destiny.’

Adding fuel to the fire is Lenny talking shit about all the risks Issac should be worried about with bringing a girl into what he calls the viper den.’ Issac suspects Lenny’s just screwing with him because God only knows how many wagers these sick bastards have on every move he and Sara make; stupid-ass shit like, how Issac introduces Sara to Murphy, whether he holds her hand, whether he holds her hand and then kisses her or kisses her and then holds her hand, there’s probably even a wager on whether he kisses her at all or if she kisses him. The probable number of wagers encasing this event is only limited by the faithful’s imagination and level of intoxication.

Murphy’s right, Sara needs to know the demented space she’s walking into, and Issac needs to allow space to first be angry and then to leave if that’s her choice. He just hopes that after telling her, he’s able to salvage some remnants of what he hoped they could be. Issac’s surprised when he walks out to the parking lot and sees a white Four Seasons bus pulling in. As the bus rolls to a stop, he sees Sara eager to get off. What he doesn’t expect are the people he assumes are on their way to somewhere else, getting off as well.

Before Issac has time to overthink what this means, Sara’s off the bus asking to have a brief bit of Issac’s time. She hurriedly explains, while the random collage of hotel guests and staff step off the bus, that when she asks the concierge if it’s possible to take a shuttle to Murphy’s Northshore Bar, he says, isn’t that the place making the new Crabby Patty sandwiches? Soon, one thing leads to another and before she knows what’s happening, there’s literally a bus full of people wanting to come have a Murphy’s Crabby Patty. She begs Issac to not be upset, but from his perspective, this is a good thing. He just needs a second to run inside and warn the faithful, only the fine folks from Four Seasons don’t feel the need to wait for Sara as they’re already making their way inside.

Issac hurriedly explains to Sara the impending train wreck waiting for her inside. He worries she’ll be angry but once he starts laughing at the irony of the Murphy faithful expecting him to walk through the door with the woman they need to validate as his girlfriend, but instead in comes a hoard of elites who have no interest in exciting Chicago cubs baseball or any of Murphy’s many game day protocols.

Once the last of Sara’s tribe has made their first contact with Issac’s tribe, Issac and Sara enjoy a moment of amused ownership with everything about to go down. Issac explains Northshore wager culture while apologizing for the fact that there’s an ongoing wager he’s only just learned about regarding whether she’s into him. Once done presenting his case, he awaits judgment. Sara begins her opening arguments by stipulating she could care less about the wagers and in fact, finds it kind of quaint; something she says the folks back in her West Texas town would likely do to make sure Issac’s worthy of dating her. As far as whether she’s into him, she points out that she did make him a soufflé.

Sara’s far more concerned about the Four Seasons folks taking out of context what she said about needing to talk to the chef who invented the now famous Murphy’s Crabby Patty recipe to validate that the story she got from the guy who claims to have coined the burger’s name is true. Somehow, on the bus ride over, that morphed into her being intimately close with the now famous chef at Murphy’s Northshore Bar. The utter embarrassment of the Murphy’s chef calling her out for misrepresenting such claims is the culinary world’s equivalent of plagiarizing research in science and could end her culinary career before it even gets started, all because of a simple misunderstanding.

With that as background, Issac and Sara’s banquet table is set, all that remains now is going inside to see how all the dominoes fall. As they step into the doorway of Murphy’s Northshore Bar that legendary night that quietly starts as a Cub’s twilight double header and ends in epic chaos, Issac, for the first time since they’ve been together, takes Sara’s hand in his and stops in the doorway to kiss her lightly on the cheek. He then tells her to kiss him back. When Sara asks why, Issac whispers with devilish delight, “you have no idea how one little kiss can cause thousands of dollars to pass from one set of hands to another.”

As Sara presses her delightful lips onto Issac’s cheek, she whispers with divine deviousness, “since we control outcomes, seems fair we should get the Vig.”